A story of a couple experiencing conflict due to differing values has been revealed.
On the 24th, the MBC entertainment program 'Marriage Hell' featured a husband who finds his wife's words bothersome and a wife who wants to be loved by such a husband, a 'Change Couple'.
During their dating period, the husband was a love-struck man who constantly expressed affection and actively pursued his wife. However, now he says his wife is annoying and has even claimed, "I don't love my wife." When the MCs asked if he was serious, the husband shockingly replied, "I had some feelings at one point." On the other hand, the wife stated that she applied for the show because she wants to live happily with her husband like they did during their dating days. The couple's affection has completely changed. What healing report did Dr. Oh Eun-young present to help them recover?
The husband, who works in construction, couldn't go to work due to continuous heavy snowfall and started the day with his wife. Unlike the husband, who wanted to be alone, the wife, who wanted to do everything together, kept calling out "Honey~" to find him. For 19 years, the wife has been raising four children while handling all the childcare and household chores alone.
However, when the wife asked the husband to help with the dishes while preparing dinner, he ignored her with a 'no-look pass(?).' The reason the husband turned a blind eye to his wife's earnest request was because of 'computer games!' He confessed that he plays games for at least 3-4 hours on weekdays and up to 8-9 hours on weekends. Eventually, he reluctantly did the dishes after his wife's continued calls but soon expressed his irritation and dissatisfaction.
The wife wants to spend time doing childcare and housework with her husband, but the husband always wants his alone time, which makes her feel hurt. However, the husband stated, "I come first before the family," and expressed that sacrificing for the family is burdensome. He also complained that he has done everything his wife wanted, but still feels unappreciated.
Dr. Oh Eun-young analyzed that the wife perceives the same situation as a 'request,' while the husband sees it as 'coercion,' which leads to ongoing conflict. The wife, who wants to do even the smallest things with her husband, keeps calling him, while the husband, who has a strong individualistic tendency, may feel these requests as 'coercive.' Dr. Oh added that the husband might feel wronged. Although he eventually complied with his wife's request, he did so while grumbling, which likely made him feel that his efforts were being disregarded when his wife expressed dissatisfaction. Dr. Oh emphasized to the wife that "it can be a form of emotionally coercing your husband." She also analyzed that there is a tendency to label the husband as someone who doesn't love the family if he doesn't feel the same emotions as her, prefacing it with "If you love the family." The wife appeared shocked, realizing she was unaware of her behavior.
The wife claimed that the children's behavior is influenced by their father's irritated tone. However, contrary to expectations, when the counselor asked, "Who is the closest person at home?" the eldest daughter answered without hesitation, "Dad." The eldest daughter confessed, "I was worried that mom would disappear without saying anything after fighting with dad because I knew she was vulnerable to stress." The children expressed gratitude for their mother's love and sacrifice, but sometimes felt overwhelmed by her excessive worry, which felt controlling. In daily videos, the wife was seen ignoring the second daughter's comment that she wasn't cold and continued to prepare clothes for her, as well as strongly opposing the third son's part-time job.
Despite being on the verge of adulthood, the children were unable to freely decide on outings or activities without their mother's permission. Dr. Oh Eun-young strongly criticized this, stating, "The way the wife loves the children remains at a preschool level." She pointed out that under the guise of family education, she excessively controls the children to alleviate her own anxieties. It was reported that she advised that parents need to control their own anxieties for the sake of their children's independence.
'Marriage Hell' will air on the 31st at 10:45 PM.
[Kim So-yeon, Star Today Reporter]
